Sunday, May 16, 2010

and just when we thought it was easy...

Doug and I should NEVER assume that simple painting at our house would be easy. My anxiety reached a high today and I literally had to remove myself before I bit off doug's head. I am so happy that i have a husband that is willing to cope with my bad habits of losing control and externalizing my feelings through smalls snip-its of rage (seriously).

Doug had done nothing wrong, but unfortunately realized that a 2-day job was turning into a week job...problem. Deacon's birthday dinner is in a week. I have to clean, cook, shop (have yet to get birthday presents). Not to mention I am rearranging his room. With all that in my mind, my anxiety gets the best of me and I start worrying about EVERYTHING in my house. The basement that is disorganized, laundry, dishes, crap that is just strewn everywhere...I create irrational thoughts out of something that can be accomplished on step at a time.

Even now, as I am typing what my thoughts were my heart is starting to pump and I feel my body tense I need to stop or I might just cry....too late.

Deacon is sleeping upstairs and I might just take a much deserved nap myself.

Pictures of our awesome bathroom will follow, just need to get through the pain in the butt part first!

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