Wednesday, November 23, 2011

A Beard and a Mustache

Sometimes I just want to sit inside a child’s brain so that I can try to understand why they do the silly things they do. More specifically, I want to sit inside my four-year-old’s brain to understand why he does what he does.

99% of the time, my son does is amazing, cute, wonderful, creative, funny and even witty things. But then there is the 1%. I can guess that most parents agree that is the percentage that leaves us scratching our heads. Most will agree that the 1% causes the most unpredictable, outrageous, hilarious (although we can’t let them think that) and puzzling concoctions our little ones come up with.

Here are some examples of the 1% that most of us have experienced:

• Crayons on walls

• Flushing items down the toilet

• Painting walls with things other than paint

• Sticking things up their nose

• Swallowing foreign objects

• Jumping from the couch and other furniture

• Dumping cupfuls of water out of the tub

• Cutting the telephone cord while talking on the phone

• Using your feet to scrub the tub with soft scrub instead of a sponge (true story, lived by my twin, my friend and me).

All of the above can do one of two things to parents. If your child does this on a day you have lots of patience, you just laugh it off and educate them on the “dangers of fill in the blank” and move on. Kids however have the uncanny ability to time their 1% in with the most hectic of days and when we, the parents, have the least amount of patience. Unfortunately, my child likes to experiment with the fragility of life in conjunction with my fragile patience. This is when the 1% throws us parents over the edge. This is when we go crazy, Broadway style.

Last night was no different. Doug, aka: the fun parent was on nap duty while I was out shopping. Because our 5-month-old has an unpredictable nap schedule, he told Deacon that he’d have to lay down by himself. Reason being, no one in the house would nap if Cohen cried the whole time. Doug assumed that Deacon would just fall a sleep on his own.

Once I came home, I quickly realized Deacon hadn’t fallen asleep. I went upstairs to lay down with him as a last ditch effort to get him to take a snooze. It was a rainy day so the room was especially dark, which made it difficult for me to see him. I lay down next to him, gave him a big hug and asked if he wanted to snuggle. He said yes, but immediately said, “Mommy, don’t turn on the light, okay?” I chuckled and replied, “I won’t honey.” Then I paused, got suspicious and said, “Deacon, why don’t you want me to turn the light on.” He stammered through is reply, “I don’t want you to see what I did to my face.” I obviously turned on the lights to see what he did. Deacon decided he was going to color on himself—with a permanent marker. I have no clue how he even found the marker or why he even thought it was a good idea to color on him, but apparently he knew what he did was a bad idea. I can imagine him finding the marker and thinking that it would be a lot of fun to color on himself, but then afterwards the guilt set in (we’ve all been there, yes?!) so he totally ratted himself out, no interrogation needed!

The worse part is that when I was trying to talk to Deacon about why Doug and I were upset, he kept making this hilarious face that was even funnier because of the marker! I busted out laughing, so I knew I was in trouble because once you laugh, it’s all over—the kid is on to you. After I laughed, Deacon laughed and I kept telling him it wasn’t funny and he looked at me and said, “Yes, mommy it is very funny.” I folded and agreed that it was pretty silly. In an effort to save a parenting, life lesson moment, I told him that I wasn’t upset that he colored on himself, but I was more upset that he disobeyed us and did that instead of napping. I also took it one step further and said he had to send photos of him to Santa so he could assess the damage. That’s when Deacon got really upset. He looked at me and asked what Santa would do and I said that I didn’t know. Then in the most pitiful voice and innocent look (chin down, eyes up) he said, “Mommy, I just wanted a beard and a mustache like daddy.”

UGH! I totally played the Santa card, and it completely backfired on me! I said, “You wanted a beard like daddy?!” He replied, “Yes-I want to be just like my daddy.” I start to back pedal and reminded him that we when we are told to do something (take a nap) we need to do it and not do anything else (color on self). I did say that if he wanted to color a beard on him, he could have asked us and we would have totally gotten the markers out (washable) and he could have went to town, because I’d like to think that Doug and I are cool parents.

After the dust settled, we made Deacon soak in the tub to fade the marker away. We also discovered that baby wipes take the marker right off! By the way, baby wipes magically remove just about anything-yet they are supposed to be baby safe—haven’t figured that one out yet!

So, what is my point to all this? The 1% will happen to you. It is supposed to happen because kids will be kids. I know the silly stuff kids do that fit into the 1% occur at the least desirable times, but try to laugh it off anyway (except for when it is super serious!) T
he 1% is part of growing up, and even though it is such a small percentage, I like to think that the lessons learned are far greater than 1%!

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

I Heart Faces Photo Challenge | Autumn Splendor

This is the first time I have entered a photo in the I Heart Faces Photo Challenge! As soon as I read the category, I KNEW the perfect picture I would use for the contest! Want to add your own photo to the challenge? You better hurry--the contest closes at 9pm tonight!