Sunday, May 30, 2010

Portrait time!

It is few and far between that I get a chance to be in front of a camera instead of behind it. I am always taking pictures of something, mostly Deacon and very rarely to I pop my head and take a picture of myself with Deacon.

So when the opportunity arose to get a family picture along with Deacon's 3-year-old portrait in my sister's-in-law studio I jumped on the chance! Call me crazy but even photographers like other photographers documenting your life, rather than you solely documenting your own. Maybe that is just me--but I like to see what other people can capture too!

So Covington-bound we were! The studio is such a sweet surprise because you walk into a building of stuffy business blah and a few flights of stairs. One thinks to to one self, "How in God's name can a photography studio be in here." But then you open the studio door and amazing. You are greeted by a saucy red leather couch and hip, black and white chairs. well hello there beautiful studio! But that's not the best part...take a left and there begins your long walk to magic--candy land if you will. There is a closet full of lush, beautiful fabrics and THEN the prop room. This is mostly filled with what normal people call "junk" and what photographers find as the "perfect picture prop". Once you pass the closet and the prop room you walk yourself into the most unique studio I've seen. There is natural light flooding from the windows and a beautiful, dark cherry floor that can be covered with a background cloth if you choose.

There I was, my breath taken away and I forgot, for a moment that I was a photographer..I let myself be a wife and a mom and I was having so much fun letting Deacon pick out stuff for his portraits. I wasn't worried about the lighting, or the camera or the lens or my flash--it was so freeing. Maybe I was able to do this because my sister-in-law has my complete trust and also is one heckofa photographer too! I actually want to be like her when I grow up ;)

So anyway, Deacon, the shy-boy-when-he-wants-to-be, Wolking hid his head like an Ostrich and was playing the "Oh Please don't take my picture" face and I thought, "Oh great, my photo session is doomed!" In Deacon's defense, he constantly has a camera in his face so the idea of once again sitting in front of one, but instead being in a weird place, probably wasn't his idea of fun on a Sunday morning. Doug and I, along with Coleman decided to ignore him.

tangent: for those who don't have kids and want to how to get them to like you--ignore them. They will flock to you for attention. IF you get in their faces and invade their space (yes, they too, have personal space, you will be forever exiled to the 'I don't like you' portion of their brain). End tangent.

Coleman set up the main background and just started taking pictures of Doug and me, and sure enough, little d-man wanted to see what the fuss was about. So he peered through the door, still playing the shy card and just stared. Doug and I then sat on the floor and by the time Coleman pressed button in zoomed Deacon right on my lap. He had a tape measure and was wanting to show us how it worked. Doug and I ever so sly got ourselves out of the shot and tired to capture the essence of Deacon, our 3-year-old.

Deacon ran out of the room, but this time brought back some items:

  • 5 balloons
  • an orange moose
  • a guitar
  • 3 pairs of giant clown sunglasses
I thought, "hmmm, not a good combo for pictures...but I'm ok with it" I want to remember that day, I want to remember how it organically unfolded from a not-so-great beginning to an oh-so-happy ending.

The end of our studio session, I could tell that Coleman captured every part of Deacon's mood that day and once we felt that she got what she could we zoomed down to riverside drive, hoping that Deacon would tolerate a few more pictures...and wow did he! Once he realized that riverside drive meant, being steps from the Ohio River, he was hook line and sinker!

Tangent: If you've not ever been to riverside drive--please go. If your a NKY or Cincinnati native this needs to be on your list of places you've been to--it's a cardinal sin if you haven't. For those who may be traveling to this area--please come down here and take a look at history at its finest. There are several notable sites including Daniel Carter Beard's childhood home (founder of boy scouts), the underground railroad and several bronze statues strategically placed along the road. Also, if you plan to attend a reds game, I highly suggest parking your car in Covington and eating a picnic lunch or dinner on the drive and then walk the suspension bridge to the game. Speaking from someone who has incredible memories of this as a child--every father/daughter needs to do that. End Tangent.

There was so many wonderful opportunities for pictures, my photographer beast came out and I got as giddy as a kid on the last day of school! The architecture along the drive is amazing and you really feel for a moment that you are in the 19th century. We walked up a cobble stone path and took pictures by this rockin' "mini door" that you will see soon once the pictures are up. We then showed Deacon the cobblestone road and told him that's how the boats used to get down to the river. We sat our little patooties on the stone and, viola, it happened--a family picture. I wanted to cry. I knew it was magic, I knew that I will be buying a HUGE print to put somewhere in our home! Since we were on riverside drive, we HAD to take pictures by the river--again a cardinal sin if you don't. We also walked past riverside and snapped some pictures from a really cool set of steps (think sesame street) but were interrupted by two pesky squirrels!

Tangent: These squirrels were ridiculous! They were jumping from a wrought iron gate to a tree and were bouncing about like crazy. We wondered what the heck was going on and did our best to ignore it. We called it quits when we all thought they were going to crash land on us and I don't know about you but I am not a fan of rabies! As we were walking away we realized that the squirrels were badgering a bird and her nest and the momma bird was kicking their you know whats! Cole, Doug and me stood there in amazement as this momma bird was pushing the squirrels out of the tree and giving them the "what for" in her sing-song tweets. Cole and I shouted, "you go momma!" And we were so happy to see her back in the tree with her baby birds without interruption. stupid squirrels. End tangent.

So in the end, our photo session was amazing and I can't wait to see the finished product. I have a feeling I'll be selling a kidney to afford the amount of images I will be purchasing, but I want to always remember that day--what an awesome day. Coleman, thank you for sharing your gift with us--thank you for taking time away from your own family on a gorgeous Sunday to capture the life of my family--I love you so much!

For those who want to check out my sister's-in-law amazing work, check out There you will find amazing work from her, along with her business partner/friend/awesome person, Brooke!

Saturday, May 29, 2010

A very long week

I never understood that term..."it was a long week." or "It was a short week." I mean a week is a week right? 7 days is exactly the same no matter if it felt long or is there any sense to try and blame our week for the way we feel?

It is easier to blame other things that my own thoughts and feelings, so heck yes I'm blaming the week on my mood--it truly was a LONG week. It was a week where I never felt like anything on my list of "important" tasks were even close to being tackled because I was so busy putting out little, trivial fires.

After a long day of photographing a wedding, I am actually ready to sit down and start my weekend. I am ready play with my son and be with my family. I am ready to lather up our sunscreen and hopefully head to the pool, watch a parade and grill out...oh yes--my favorite part of summer!

So for now, I am going to relax, enjoy the long weekend and savor the smiles, the laughs and the cute animals my son can magically morph into at the drop of a hat....

Have a wonderful Memorial day everyone!

Monday, May 24, 2010

"I love you more"

A very long time ago...14 years almost, my Godson was not a fan of his aunt Anne. He would cry when I'd get near, he'd cry when I'd hold him and almost always he would say he wanted his other Godmother, my twin. As you can sense, I was far from happy. I was 12 at the time, so a kid not wanting to be around me was summing up what I thought failure was. My oldest sister, his mother game some excuses of "he's just tired" or "he is colicky", or "he is hungry", etc. I soon caught on and realized she was trying to save face.

Anyway, I invented a game I knew he'd love to play, because you know how boys are...they try and one up each other on a daily basis. The game was simple, "I love you more." and the other would say, "No I LOVE YOU MORE." so on and so forth. So I had this false sense of comfort knowing that my sweet little Godson would say he loved me, when in all truth, he probably didn't know he even had the capacity to love.

I did realize that there are those who love us more than we love them, parents. I'd every so often play that game with my Mom and I'd actually yell saying, "Mom, you really don't understand--I love you more, way more than you'll ever love me." And my mom, my sweet, beautiful most patient mother just chuckled, grasped me tight and said, "Think what you will my Annie-girl but when you have a child of your own, you will understand that there is no amount of love a child can have for their parent that would outweigh the love that parent has for their child."

Fast forward 3 years, three beautiful years. Rocking my son and reading his book, we get into the back and forth of the "I love you more" tradition that was started by yours truly 14 years ago. Deacon and I rant back and forth of who loves who more. And it hit mother was right. I know Deacon is beginning to understand love and what he receives from Doug and me and the love he gives to us, and I'm telling ya--I totally win this game. I am for certain that I love him more than he loves me and I am ok with this. I mean, isn't that is how it is supposed to be anyway? We torture ourselves to keep our kids safe, happy and healthy. My life is Deacon--my world, my sheer existence revolves around him, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Parents love their children more---plain and simple. It is our job--the best job I will ever have was becoming a parent--through the 9 months of carrying Deacon, to nursing and late night feedings, projectile spit-up and hissy fits, from the coos and the goos to the snuggles and the hugs--I do have the best job in the world--Deacon makes life perfection.

Saturday, May 22, 2010

make believe and remembering your birth

"thomas, where ya goin' thomas? Thomas wait for me, I go to the zoo wit you." I tip toed into the living room so that Deacon would not see me peeking in on his conversation with his Thomas the train. I watched, starred and continued to be mesmerized by the way he was totally submerged in his make believe play. I was amazed at watching him grow in front of me--and I saw such a smart, beautiful little boy.

I saw a boy whose eyes are as bright as the sun and accompanied with eye lashes longer than the train tracks by our house. I was a boy with fast growing hair and and the cutest button nose a day-away-from-being-3-year-old can be. I saw imagination and excitement and love coming from this boys body. It was almost as if I was having an out of body experience.

I forgot for a moment that he was mine--that God gave him to Doug and me--that we have actually raised him for the last three years.

In that moment of wonder I kept flashing back to the day of his birth. The excitement, the nerves, the fear and the many prayers that encircled us with every push, with every tear and finally, with the miracle of his tiny body being put on my chest and the doctor saying, "he's perfect, he's beautiful." I kept thinking about my wonderful husband and the look of total love and support his eyes gave me. I remembered his tears of joy as he said, "He's ours, he's here, I am so in love..." I remembered my parents and Doug's mom in the room hugging them and being so happy that they were there with Doug and me. Most of all, I remember holding Deacon and kissing him over and over thinking how I longed to kiss him and finally meet him. I remember my dad, his smile and his prayer he said after the business of the delivery room faded. I remember celebrating and feeling slightly overwhelmed and wondering "How will I be able to do this?"

Well guess what, fast forward three years...I did it baby boy. Daddy did it. Doug and I never expected to start a family so soon after we got married, but everyday God's plan is revealed to us as to why he blessed us with you so soon. Thank you, Deacon for your zest, your love and you teethy smile. I love you so much it hurts.

I am a mom, I am your mom, and wow I am so happy.

Thursday, May 20, 2010

a quick reflection

Thank you, God for the gift of life
Thank you for creating me in your image and likeness
Thank you for sending your son to save us from our sins
Thank you for having mercy on us
Thank you, God for loving me, my family and my friends
Thank you for revealing your way, truth and life through little miracles that continue to widen my heart with your love.
Thank you for putting the right people in my life to teach me so many wonderful things about the world around me.
Thank you for filling that missing piece of my heart with my soul mate, Doug.
Thank you for bettering my life with the gift of our son.

I know I stumble, Lord. I know that sometimes I stray, I doubt, I sin. I fail to live your word, I fail to show your love through my hurtful words, judgments, and attitude, I fail at being Figure of Christ to the strangers I meet and the people I love the most.

Today, I turn my life to you, again. I strive to act, speak and live with a reflection of your presence so that others may feel the love you have given to me and that they know that your love is theirs for the taking. Today, Lord, I pray that I may walk by your side and that my actions show your love to others, I pray that I can be a little miracle in someones life.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Assembly Line

I miss the days of make believe and dirty knees. I miss the days of playing at Miller's pond and finding the perfect swinging vine in the deep wooded area in my childhood home. I miss the back yard plays, trying to fly and swinging past the sky at trolley park. I find it to be so funny that when we are young we want to badly to be a grown up and when we finally reach that pivotal point in our life, we just want to be a kid again. Call it one of life's unfair irony's but I do wonder why I wanted to grow up so quickly. I still feel young, heck I am young, but there are just so many responsibilities to manage as an adult that one begins to feel that their life is a mere assembly line.

6:00 wake up
6:02 Dog out and fed
6:05 shower
6:25 makeup
6:35 brush teeth
6:40 pick out an outfit for work
6:50 sneak in Deacons room and give one last kiss
6:55 kiss Doug on forehead and say "I love you"
6:58 walk downstairs, change out laundry
7:05 leave for work
7:20 arrive at work
7:30 work work work work
4:30 leave work
4:45 arrive at daycare and head for home
5:15 let out dog, feed again
5:18 check mail
5:20 have Deacon sit on potty
5:25 get changed
5:30 start dinner
5:45 check facebook and email
6:00 straighten up house
6:30 eat dinner
7:00 clean up and play time with deacon
8:00 bathtime
8:30 read 2 books, say prayers, rock and say "night night, sleep tight, I love you...MORE"
9:00 come downstairs and watch tv
11:00 go to bed


What a boring life! My life is a giant schedule--and when you break it down like that, it makes it even more depressing. Oh to be a kid again.

One great remedy is having a child. I forget all the day-to-day with the funny sayings, the Eskimo kisses and the bear hugs. Marriage also breaks up the monotony. One glance at Doug and my day disappears and I see calm, serenity and peace. I may not always be the most loving to my husband, but I certainly know that my life is complete because of him.

I love the moments in life that break up my assembly line. kissing boo-boos, watching a film while tucked in the crook of my husband's arm, making spaghetti (random I know), running, playing soccer, singing, praying. All those things keep me centered and grounded and I am thankful that my life isn't as monotonous and I perceive it to be.

Monday, May 17, 2010

Deacon's Photo Book

So, one would think that a photographer would just automatically know what to do with her photos after she is finished photographing them, right? One would also assume that pictures of a photographers child would be all over the home....wrong. I am sure I am unlike most photographers, but I honestly feel I don't have enough of Deacon, or my family hanging in my home.
It goes back to my anxiety--I just get so confused over what to buy and where to hang my photos that I just freeze and don't do it at all. It also has to do with the fact that Doug and I are minimalists---the less "stuff" we have in our tiny cape cod the better. One day when we are loaded (yeah, right) I'll hang lots of pretty decorations and TONS of pictures.
The other thing that really bothers me is that my son, my sweet, precious almost-3-year-old does not have a baby book, or any album for that matter. I'll take the mom-of-the-year award for that one. It is amazing how much little time I have in between work, soccer and photography that what little time I have I want to be with my family instead of plastered to a scrapbook cutting, pasting, organizing. I also don't want to be stuck at my computer editing and picking out what ones should be in an electronic book. BUT I have decided that it is time. I have been following kelle hampton and you should check her out at She is an amazing photographer and amazing mother--I want to be her someday. Anyway, she creates photo books every year for her I decided it is time I do the same thing. Deacon's book will be the first three years of life and the plan is to have one book for each year there after...hope I can keep up with it. I wanted to have book 1 done by his birthday...but considering I am only on month 5, I doubt this will happen. My new goal is to have the book printed by the end of June. Here is a sneak peek of what I've done so far:
I am using a program called picnik...and it is working quite well. It is free service or you can buy the premium for $25.00 a year--not shabby!

Any way, I am off to play "pleee-doooo" with Deacon!

3, Three, III--can't even believe it

Our son will be a matter of days, Deacon will be three. This week is full of reflection and preparation. We keep birthdays low key, but in no way does that mean we don't "celebrate" his life. Doug and I have his Godparents and Grandparents over for dinner and it is just a time of celebration. It is also a time for thanksgiving. It honestly does take a village to raise our son, and we are so blessed to have such a happy, loving village! Doug and I each have large families and each one knows how crucial they are in the raising of Deacon and we are thankful for each one of them. This dinner, however is just a special thanks to our parents and Deacon's Godparents.

Our parents have done more for us than what we can even describe. We are the parents we are because of the unconditonal love they gave us from birth on. Seeing our parents dote on their grandchild is almost like seeing the face of God--it is simply amazing.

Deacon's Godparents are also pretty special to and they deserve the recognition. the kind heart that are helping build a strong foundation for Deacon to grow into a Christ-filled life is awesome. Mike (Mother) and my twin, Theresa have done nothing but love our child and we are eternally grateful for that.

More reflection/pictures to follow--just know I'll be a sobby mess the next few days as I think about this little miracle that changed my life 3 years ago.

Sunday, May 16, 2010

and just when we thought it was easy...

Doug and I should NEVER assume that simple painting at our house would be easy. My anxiety reached a high today and I literally had to remove myself before I bit off doug's head. I am so happy that i have a husband that is willing to cope with my bad habits of losing control and externalizing my feelings through smalls snip-its of rage (seriously).

Doug had done nothing wrong, but unfortunately realized that a 2-day job was turning into a week job...problem. Deacon's birthday dinner is in a week. I have to clean, cook, shop (have yet to get birthday presents). Not to mention I am rearranging his room. With all that in my mind, my anxiety gets the best of me and I start worrying about EVERYTHING in my house. The basement that is disorganized, laundry, dishes, crap that is just strewn everywhere...I create irrational thoughts out of something that can be accomplished on step at a time.

Even now, as I am typing what my thoughts were my heart is starting to pump and I feel my body tense I need to stop or I might just cry....too late.

Deacon is sleeping upstairs and I might just take a much deserved nap myself.

Pictures of our awesome bathroom will follow, just need to get through the pain in the butt part first!

Friday, May 14, 2010

The signs of summer

Call me weird but I associate season change with certain smells.

Fall, my favorite season has a smell of dry, crisp leaves and fire wood smoke. The day I walk out of my home and smell those sweet scents traveling the wind hand in hand, my heart sings the earth's praises!

The scents of winter is the rich burning of fire wood, and crisp air. It fills my senses with a solemn and reflective state of mind that I enjoy so much.

Spring's scent is new, fresh, life. It's that one day after a good rain when you walk outside and just smell "spring". The smell of dew introducing itself to the newly budding trees, fresh uncut grass, tulips and lavendar. The smell of spring fills my heart with joy, wonderment and it gets me revved up for the all opportunities that will quickly spring forward.

And then, there's Summer. Maybe I have given summer a bad rap, but who could blame me?! The summer I know translates into unpleasant smells: burning flesh, stinky sunscreen and aloe. I am transparent, I am so pale I make porcelain dolls look good. I burn in the shade. Even the mere thought of "sun" causes me to burn, so I have chosen not to associate good smells with summer. That is until I had a child. I finally decided to look at summer in a different light and appreciate the hot and hazy climate, because it brings my son so much joy and so many memories have been made over the long dog days of summer.

I know summer is approaching when the sun stays out longer than my son's bedtime. Summer is here when Deacon begins to "glisten" and the tips of his hair are wet from his hard play of kicking the soccer ball and swinging his baseball bat. "Summer knees" is also a tell tale sign of my new found appreciation of the season. The knees that remain slightly dirty and scraped, no matter how long you scrub in the tub or prevent future scrapes with band-aids--it is the mark of fun and fancy-free.

Here is random list of other things Deacon has taught me to appreciate about summer: Bubbles. Lemonade. Strawberries and whip cream. Firing up the grill and having cookouts on a weekly basis. the garden hose.

The way the mulch, dirt and grass clippings stick to your feet after watering our plants.

long, late walks to the park.

sun-kissed cheeks.

kid sun-glasses.

Oddly, I have also learned to LOVE the smell of sun screen--it just smells better on Deacon than on me!

Stained teeth with the flavor-ice we had at dinner.

Summer is a new found friend, and I look forward to creating new memories with my family this year!

Thursday, May 13, 2010


the past two days have been filled with cousins! Deacon is fortunate enough (well I guess it is however you look at it) to be blessed with SO many cousins. One of the benefits of having a gazillion cousins is that they always gets to see each other!

Two days ago, my twin came over with her son Louis to have dinner. Theresa and I are single parents for the majority of the week due to our husbands' hectic work schedules, so we try to get together as much as we can to split up dinner duty.

Louis and Deacon are pretty much like twins...three months apart. Having them both around is like herding cats--a train wreck of sorts, but oh so awesome to be apart of. It is almost like Theresa and I have a constant front row seat to the coolest circus on the planet--ringling brothers--you better watch out! The two boys copy each other constantly, if one does something, the other one follows suit. If Louis falls to the ground, Deacon does the same thing. If Deacon jumps off the steps, Louis jumps too. I love this copy cat age--just watching them figure out the awkward social interaction phase they are in and testing the boundaries of what is and what is not "cool".

Don't let me fool you, though, as these two can FIGHT...boy oh boy do they fight. Theresa and I always just laugh it up and use it as learning experiences. We laugh because of the reason behind their fighting. For example, They got into a huge fight over the color of a backpack. Deacon was exclaiming it was red, Louis was exclaiming that it was Blue. They screamed over top each other, cried for their respective mommy and said, "He said the backpack was blue/red". Problem was Deacon was talking about Louis's backpack and Louis was talking about Deacon's. I laughed and laughed!

Another great cousin moment is unfolding as I type. Deacon is playing with his Cousin Tegan. I picked up them both from school today and headed back to my sister's house so the two could play. Tegan is a year older than Deacon and is into "making conversation" while Deacon isn't really grasping onto what "conversation" means...because he only communicates his wants and needs or his communication is totally "me" centered.

Listening to the two of them talk was almost like watching someone trying to put the opposite ends of magnents together! Nevertheless, they get a long so well and it is adorable to watch Tegan adapting to Deacon's level of understanding! For example, Tegan knew that Deacon LOVES Mr. David (A singer at their school) and so she said, "Aunt Anne, I think it would be a good idea if you played Mr. David right now. I think that would be good because we both like Mr. David." Deacon replied, "oh danks, Tegan." Once I began to play the music Deacon turned to Tegan and said, "I love you Tegan." He then continued to say, "oh man oh man, this is great, Mr. David is Awesome.!!!" Tegan just smiled so wide because she knew she was apart of creating a fun memory for Deacon. The entire ride home the two of them sang in unison all of the Mr. David songs I knew. I looked back and saw that they were holding hands! My heart melted! If it wasn't totally dangerous I would have snapped a picture but I didn't think doing that while drive 65mph was a good idea!

All in all, I am so grateful for my nieces and nephews--Deacon's cousins. They light his life with love and joy and I am so proud to be a witness to the wonderful relationships they are building with one another!

Monday, May 10, 2010

boo boo kisser

Today I was in the kitchen cleaning and Deacon was zooming through out the house with his three favorite trucks.

Apparently one of the trucks took a nasty spill and Deacon was comforting the truck saying, "it's ok baby's ok." I started to giggle knowing that my son was making conversation with a truck but then continued to eavesdrop. The truck apparently was complaining of a bad boo-boo, so Deacon being the good friend he is said, "it's ok truck, Mommy kiss your boo-boo and you be better ok?!" So in runs Deacon with his damaged piece of metal and said, "here mommy, here, here. Kiss my truck and say he be ok." So I kissed the imaginary boo-boo and and sent them on their way. I was still in the kitchen and Deacon was back in the living room conversing with his best friend, Tonka. Deacon after saying uh huh 5 times said, "Yay, I know, I know I love my mommy too."

My heart melted.

I always have an internal battle with myself as I try to decide what my favorite milestone is with Deacon. I have come to the conclusion, however that I love every single minute of Deacon's life. I especially love this age--he has such an inquisitive mind and a determination to figure things out himself. He is also a caring and loving soul and I swear he gives the best hugs. ever. period.

Why do I love being a mom? The above states it clearly, I kiss boo-boos. How simple of a job is that?! I am loved because I take care of my son and love him unconditionally. I am a mom because I am needed, and in return I have been given such a beautiful gift to be able to see Deacon grow into such a wonderful kid--he is the best part of my life!

Deacon brings so much life into this home--I hope he knows how much he means to me, how much I work to keep him happy, healthy and safe...but until he discovers that, I'll continue to get much joy and satisfaction with being a boo-boo kisser.

Zoo Photos!

as you can tell we had a blast at the zoo on Sunday!

Sunday, May 9, 2010

Mother's Day

Mass...breakfast...zoo...LONG nap...dinner

Mother's day was absolute perfection. Before I go into the details, I'll preface it with some opening remarks.

In the day's following up to "the big day" people would ask, "so what are your plans for Mother's day?" I'd say, "Oh, I don't know--we'll probably just be a family as we always are." Some mom's would give me the ole, "deer in the headlights" look and then follow up with this silly question, "You aren't going to have some alone time away from your husband and kid?!" I would awkwardly laugh and then walk away.

I am away from my son and family more than I want to be. I work 40 hours each week. If I am photographing a wedding add 9-10 hours onto that schedule. I also play in two indoor soccer leagues instead of paying for gym membership. Deacon's child care providers see more of him during the week than I do. This means that milestones, snuggle time and funny toddler sayings are missed...and it hurts to know that. The more I have to be with my family, I take it.

I don't know when it became popular to get away from your family on such a beautiful day that celebrates the essence of being a mother. To me, mother's day is more about being a mom. Mother's day is about celebrating the wonderful vocation that God blessed me with as well as celebrate with the people that have helped me become a mom. It makes sense to be surrounded by the love and support that I have--to be around those who make me a better mother everyday.

I was reminded of how beautiful parenthood is, last night at the wedding I photographed. It was the perfect beginning to a day of reflection that followed. I saw how this mother just oozed love for her daughter, and the beautiful person she had become because of the direct influence her mom had on her. I looked at that mother and prayed that I too, can be that for Deacon.

After a long day of shooting, I came home and passed out from exhaustion only to be awakened at a time too obscene for me to say. It was like any other weekend morning. My son came to the gate and shook it while saying, "moooommmmmy.....daaaadddddyyyy.....I wunna watch b-dtv" I have no idea where the b and d came from, but regardless it is the cutest way to say "TV". I slowly walked to his room, picked him up and brought him into our bed. As he fidgeted and tousled around the bed, I let the perfect amount of sun warm face and welcome me into a beautiful day. Doug wrapped his arm around me and simply stated, "Happy Mother's Day" and I was happy.

We slowly untangled ourselves from the blankets that hugged us tight and got ready for Mass. Church was a blur as my mom duties were put into over drive with trying to quiet a toddler, potty train and extinguish mini melt downs, but it was enjoyable to be at our church celebrating the Eucharist with our faith family. After that, we had breakfast with our favorite
"Big Boy" at Frish's with Doug's family.

After a quick jaunt home he headed for the zoo. We got lost in Over-the-Rhine but navigated our way back to the zoo. Apparently the zoo is a hot spot on Mother's day...a memo would have been nice! We parked what seemed to be a different continent and trusted our car with a teen who wore reflective aviator sunglasses. I wanted to call him Goose but knew he would have no idea that I wasn't referencing an I left the Top Gun quote in my brain for a rainy day!

The zoo was full of families and just as it was fun to look at all the animals it was even more fun to people watch. This is probably not the best habit to have, but it sure is a guilty pleasure of mine. Aside from the comic relief, I do learn a lot from people watching--there have been moments where complete strangers have taught me more about life than I think they could they understand. Whether I spot a fellow mom kissing a boo-boo or a father playing airplane with his kids, I am reminded about the simple pleasures in life and to not take them for granted. Those moments remind me to smile a little longer, a bit brighter and to always be thankful for the life God has blessed me with.

After the zoo, we crawled back to the parking lot and spotted Goose, the parking attendant, sitting on our car's bumper. I giggled. I knew that in mere seconds he would realize that his butt was on OUR car and was wondering what type of sinking feeling he would feel as we approached our car. I don't know why I found that funny--maybe because I have been embarrassed by small things like that before too, maybe I was just glad that I am not the only one who does silly things. The truth is, Goose probably didn't care. He is a 16 year old who gets paid enough to fill his gas tank up--I am sure the motivation to represent his employer isn't on his priority list. But still I pretended that he felt slightly awkward about the situation.

After the zoo we took a LONG nap. Deacon fell asleep in our bed and I tip-toed down stairs to land in my napping spot. Doug covered me up with my fleece blanket and that's all she wrote. I woke up 2 hours later and felt so refreshed! I love naps. I thrive on naps. I wish I could take a nap everyday, but since I can't, I make sure I nap when Deacon naps. Could I have cleaned the house, yes. Could I have edited a photo job, yes. Could I have worked in the yard, yes. But all those things (even cleaning!) come secondary to my nap schedule! I am in big trouble when Deacon out grows naps--I am hoping for a miracle at this point!

The day wrapped up with yummy Mexican food and blue ice cream. Blue ice cream is a must for all kids. life is a little more sweeter when you get to see blue tongue and blue stained teeth smiling so bright and you realize how lucky you are!

I celebrate my "momness" everyday but it was nice having a day dedicated to me! It was a day of almost perfection. The only thing missing was my mom. For the first time in my 26 years of life I have NOT seen her on mother's day. She and my father were in Florida vacationing and seeing her would have made my day absolute perfection. I settled for a phone call and plenty of I Love yous. My own mother taught me how to as good of a mom I can be. My mom emulates love and I am so grateful to have her in my life. She is such a blessing to me. There is a song that reminds me of her. It's called "Love Never Fails" by Brandon Heath.

My mom has given me and my 7 siblings nothing but pure love--she is a figure of Christ in my life and I think that song sums it up perfectly for me!

Happy day to all mothers, moms-to-be and mother figures--you are what makes the world goes round!

Friday, May 7, 2010

My first post...

I am super excited to be giving this "blogging" venture a go. I have lost the time to write, and in the years that have escaped my hand, I realize I have lost touch with my whimsical self who could pen a world so bright that I would get lost in the maze of ink. I have missed being able to write and not worry about what is being said, how it's said or why it's said, so this is my platform to write what I am feeling.
When did I lose my pen? When did I lose the passion to write? Unfortunately, life happened. My career happened. My family happened. All the while, I should have been writing about my wonderful adventures with my family, my beautiful son--but now it's up to my memory to recount the past three years of the whirlwind of my life.
So today, I start fresh. Today, I begin to challenge my hand to pull out my thoughts from the nooks and crannies of my brain--to write and to imagine once more.
I'll start with who I am.
I am Anne Wolking. I am married to Doug Wolking, the most wonderful person in the entire planet. I look at him and see Heaven. I have no doubt that Doug is my soul mate and that we were meant to be together. I'll not sugar coat our marriage as it has had its ups and downs, but I wouldn't want to share the ride with anyone else.One of the greatest ups of our lives was when we added a little member to our family. Deacon is our crazy 2-almost-3-year old. There is no word to describe Deacon. Any word I begin to use, seems like a major understatement. I have never loved anyone the way I love Deacon. My mom would say that when I was a little girl and I always rolled my eyes questioning what that meant. Then I gave birth. The doctor placed my 7 pound-6-ounce miracle in my arms and WOW--there it was...I understood what my mother had said--It is the most intense love I have ever felt for another human takes my breath away thinking about it.
Even as we begin potty-training, as well as getting into the nitty gritty of parenting, I still love every second of it. I sneak up to his room each night and just stare. I just look into his eyes and can't believe that I am so lucky to have him in my life:

Tip toe
tip toe
tip, tip, tip toe
Heaven is in this room
Deep breath in
Chest rise and fall
Heaven is in this room
Chestnut hair
big, innocent brown eyes
long eyelashes
Heaven is in this room
Tiny hands and ten little piggies
a belly b, so round, cute and funny
Heaven is in this room
Deep breath in
Chest rise and fall
Heaven is in this room
Rest my sweet heaven-sent son
You are the light of my life
You are heaven in this room

Deacon is wonderful--he is love.

I know the beginning of the post made it seem that I would be writing more, but my yawns our interrupting my ability think. I will be back soon to journal more of my crazy life.