Monday, June 21, 2010

reflections on fathers

I know, I know--father's day is over. Why am I just know posting on this topic? Partly because I was having too much fun with my family yesterday to post, and also, I was having a very hard to collecting my thoughts to create something that would do the men in my life justice. As a matter of fact, I just don't know if I'll even be able to express what my mind is wanting to breathe life.

First, I'll comment on my husband. Wow. I always knew he would be a good daddy, but it wasn't until Deacon was born that I realized that my expectations were far surpassed. Prior to Deacon's arrival, Doug never so much as held an infant. I always thought he was scared or just didn't like babies. Until I saw him hold Deacon for the first time, then I knew why he held out. From the moment that his arms wrapped around Deacon, Doug was hook, line and sinker. He fell in love the moment he saw him and has been oogling over his 'precious boy' ever since. Every day since then, I have fallen more in love with Doug by the simple interactions he has with his son. The family time we spend together is always great and cherished, but I love sneaking in at night and listening to the way Doug reads to Deacon and the way Deacon fits perfectly in Doug's arms. I am inspired every day by the patience, love, understanding and care Doug shines onto our family--it challenges me every day to be a better mother. I love you though and through Doug--thank you for showing me what heaven looks like--I see it in your eyes every time you are with Deacon.

Now onto another important man in my life, my own father. He was 47 when my twin and I entered into this world--a seasoned father of 6, my dad just knew how to be a dad. Better yet, he knew how to be a dad to each of us. Being stern when he needed to be, but ALWAYS, i mean ALWAYS providing unconditional love and support. Dad worked a lot (duh, 8 kids!!!) so the time we got to spend with him was never wasted. Some of the greatest memories I have of my dad is when we would go on our dates to a baseball game and have a picnic on riverside drive. Those are some of the happiest moments in my life. We'd make a day of it--first by picking out a special hat to try and get the players to sign. Then we'd hit up a restaurant and grab take out and sit on a park bench along river side drive. I don't even remember the conversation, I just remember looking up at him and thinking "I am so lucky, remember this forever". After lunch, we'd jaunt over the bridge, buy illegal peanuts from the vendor outside the ball park and race down to the front of the stadium to solicit signatures from the Reds and even the opposing team. There was one moment where my dad encouraged me to lean over and get a signature from a Montreal player, problem is I couldn't get through. But because my dad said I should try, I proceeded to wedge myself through the crowd and I practically flipped myself onto the dugout reaching that go go gadget reach, hoping the player would see my strain, and alas--he grabbed my hat and signed it. I ran back beaming and my dad said, "honey, don't you know who that is?!" I had a puzzled look and he replied, "that's Pedro Martinez , one of the best pitchers in the league!" I really had no idea what that meant, but I truly was so happy that my dad was happy.

The point of that story, however is not about the game or the lunch or the walk, but more about the time that I have been able to spend over the last 26 years of my life. He has taught me more about love through the unspoken then anyone ever could try and explain. He has also taught me to work hard, be fair and treat others with dignity and respect. Dad, I love you more than you know--thank you for all the life's lessons, but more importantly thank you for loving me unconditionally--I have no doubt in my mind, that it is with your love that has influenced me and helped me become the mom that I am today.

Hope all father's had a great day yesterday--You are wonderful instruments in life's orchestra!

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