Friday, September 17, 2010

A baseball game, fall and grad school

Thursday, September 23rd will be a day I cherish. It marks the first day of autumn, my favorite season. I have yet to step outside and "smell" fall, but my nose is searching it out!

I know its close--the wind lingers and combs through the trees a little longer. Crisp mornings require wind breakers and the autumn sun is coaxing each leaf to change from green to yellow and finally to bright hues of orange and deep reds. There isn't a season, I think, that compares to autumn. The amount of change that happens in such a small window of time is miraculous--every morning is a freshly painted canvas of the world and what is holds for the day. Pretty soon we'll be pumpkin pickin, apple cider sippin, and fritter eatin' our ways through the short days and long, cozy nights. Fall for me is about creating memories and just living in the moment!

The last hurrah of summer and first welcome to fall was a trip to the Red's game. The Executive Director of the company I work for sursprised me as I was walking out to my car. He was given some tickets from one of our consultants and was unable to attend the game--so since I was the first person he saw, I was the proud owner of some pretty amazing seats! Doug wasn't able to go unfortunately, however, his cousins Betsy and Jill were able to attend with Deacon and me. Those two are fanatics when it comes to the Reds, so it was only fitting that they came with us! It was so much fun to introduce Deacon to the exciting game of baseball and the memories that were sewn tight like the red stitching of a baseball! From the National Anthem and first pitch to eating peanuts and guiltlessly dropping the shells to the floor--it was wonderful. Deacon kept saying, "Mommy, I'm just so happy!" Well, that just makes me happy! Baseball games are important to me. Not for the game itself but more for the time spent with my son. It rehashed some awesome memories of my dad and me heading to ball park. It was our special time, a date perhaps. It would start on Riverside Drive in Covington with a picnic lunch/dinner. We'd walk across the "singing bridge" and we'd always and I mean ALWAYS stop smack dab in the middle of the bride to take a look at the mechanics of it. He'd always point out the expansion joints and quiz me each time asking, "do you know why they are there, Annie?" We would also get across the bridge and buy peanuts from outside of the park instead of paying full price in the ballpark. He'd always take me down early so I could try to get autographs from the ball players---and 9 times out of 10 I'd be successful--I attribute this to my once tiny, limber body and the fierce determination I had to make my dad proud. Although, he'd be proud even if I got a bat boys autograph, it just didn't matter! We always got seats in the club section--the padded, comfy seats situated high up in the ballpark with an amazing view of the entire field. When we got bored sitting, we'd just walk around the park, talk, stop, watch the game and walk and talk some more. We'd love to hear the artisic calls from the park workers yelling out, "Ice Cold BUD--WISE-ER" and "Get your cotton candy, Here, cotton candy". He taught me about courtesy and manners at the park too. Always, I mean ALWAYS tip the usher---its just the right thing to do. I'd replay those flashbacks of the fond memories I have with my dad at the park and then immediately look down at my son and smile. I am so excited to give him the same memories I had.

With the ever changing fall, comes a time of change in my life. Autumn gives me time to think about where I am in life, where I want to be and how to get there. Doug and I continue to discuss growing our family and have left it up to God and what he has planned for us. Another source of change I am considering is Graduate School. I loved college. NKU was the institution that taught me more about myself that I thought a college could. The professors, the students and atmosphere made me fall in love with the program I recieve my undergrad from. Since my graduation 4 years ago, I've longed to go back. Last night I found a paper that had my professor's handing writing exclaiming "APPLY TO GRAD SCHOOL". I know, I know--thanks for the reminder! I want to go--but there are several factors holding me back:

family--I know I could do it, I have such a supportive husband, but I just think raising a young family and putting myself through grad school could possibly be a recipe for disaster. The class load wouldn't bother me, however it would be the hours of studying that would get me. How does one choose between building forts with Deacon and studying for a midterm?!

Money--Its been said that you shouldn't wait to do something because of money--or else you'd be waiting forever. I understand that, but don't agree with it. Doug and I are in some debt (who isn't) and the last thing I want are student loans. Once I get a few plastic devils paid off, the dream of going to school may become a reality.

Time--What's time?!

Maybe these reasons are trivial, but I just can't rush into something without thinking it through completely. I will go through grad school--when, is the question. Hopefully within 5 years...I'll be back on NKU's campus educating myself for furture potential and self satisfaction!

As fall makes its way onto our earth and tugs on my heart strings, I'll continue to enjoy each moment, each day and give thanks for what I do have and the blessings my family has.

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